hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
