I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
