He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
