Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
