Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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