Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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