i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
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