Jerry, you need to find god
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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