he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
