You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
