Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
