My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
