I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
