bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
