We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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