Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
