I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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