Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize