nut hugger
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
