You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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