i can't believe i had my finger in that
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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