i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
