Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
