walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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