and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
