I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
