So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
