i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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