I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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