I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
