Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize