I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
