I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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