there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
