It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Did I show you my penis last night?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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