He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize