Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
