This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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