when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
