he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
he fucked my hip out of place.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
