No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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