Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
