Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There's always time for handjobs
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
