i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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