i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
