Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
