Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
