I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
