Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
