Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
