maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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