is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
