Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize