scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
