Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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