problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
