i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
