Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
