its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
