New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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