Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize