I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
