I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
