I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I need a burrito and a hug.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
