The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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