Can Purell be used as lube?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
