the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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