You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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