forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
