if you like me you must not know who I am
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
