Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
