Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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