Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
